by Miss Sunbeam
Like it's all about the Phlox-ster! Man, the doc
takes over this ep like the groundcover he's
named after! Just one little tiny glimpse of OMT
at the beginning while the rest of the time is
filled with boring Significant Moral Plotting!
Say it ain't so!!!
Okay, see, there's this race of aliens who all
look rather like the actor Bruce Davison and
they're zooming through space looking for a cure
to this disease they've got. Well, they board
the Enterprise and Jon and them go down to visit
the Bruce-Davison-lookalikes' hospital and start
to feel all sorry and pitying and so on, and Jon
wants to develop a cure for them.
Dr. Phlox does some research, and it looks like
the secret to the cure might lie in a nearby
humanoid species (who are NOT the Bruce-Davisons)
who are called the Mink. The Mink are the overly
*rural* inhabits of Planet-Bruce-Davison, who are
so primitive their language isn't even
translated, so worthless they can't support
themselves. The Bruce-Davisons have to provide
them with, you know, all their moonshine and
Skoal snuff and King Pig brand lard and so forth.
To which the Mink say "Teek teek" (apparently
their hillbilly way of saying "thank you.")
After our gang go back to the Enterprise to mull
over all this plot, Jon decides to put on his
tightest pants (which is saying something for
Bakula) and lounge provocatively around the
lunchroom. (I just know he's waiting for Trip to
get some, um, pecan pie.) However, instead of
Trip, Dr. Phlox waltzes in, and he and Jon begin
to argy-bargy about saving the Bruce-Davisons.
Turns out the Bruce-Davisons are all dying and,
evolutionarily speaking, it's the Minks' turn to
Jon's appalled! "We must save the
"Au contraire," says Phlox-y, "we cannot stand in
the way of evolution."
"But . . . but!" says Jon.
"Captain Archer, if someone had stepped in and
saved the Neanderthal instead of letting them
become extinct, your momma would have looked like
And the next thing we know Jon's telling the
Bruce-Davisons "tough shoeboxes" while Phlox
hands out placebos and the Bruce-Davisons are
saying "teek teek you so very much" and Phlox
says "teek teek you buddy" and they shuttle on
The only Trip scene is when Doc Phlox goes to the
movies with Ensign Cutler and they're showing
some Ingrid-Bergman-Gary-Cooper Paramount classic
and Phlox looks over in the dark at Trip and Trip
is sobbing his wee hot heart out! (NO doubt
mentally substituting Jon's face for Gary's and
his own for Ingrid's.)
So, let's see, I give this one 20 points for the
truly cute Trip scene, 20 point for Jon's hot
trousers, 20 points just because it's Enterprise,
and, ah, 12 points for an amusing Hoshi/Phlox
linguistics scene. That's 72 - yep, that's about
right, C- for a nearly Trip-less ep. Boo!
Ingrid Bergman gets more screen time in this
episode than Connor!