The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea- Chapter 13

The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

by Sita Z

Disclaimers in Chapter 1

****

Chapter 13

"I don't think that's a very good idea, Commander." Phlox seemed rather disgruntled, deliberately not turning to look at Trip as he stored away the box with the formula on a high shelf. "You've had major surgery only five days ago, and as much as I appreciate your taking short walks, I do not think that Engineering is the ideal destination."

"Come on, doc." Trip slid off the biobed he'd been sitting on, following Phlox to the back of the room. It was the second day he was up, and his legs still felt a little wobbly, but that didn't stop him from keeping up with Phlox as the doctor fastened his pace. This time Phlox wasn't going to shake him off that easily. "I'm fed up with starin' at the sickbay walls, and besides, I need to check what's goin' on in my department. I haven't been in Engineerin' for nearly four weeks!"

Phlox didn't seem very impressed. "You can read Lieutenant Hess' reports if you are interested in the details of Engineering protocol. As to your staring at the sickbay walls, I believe Mr. Reed provided you with several of those horror movies you are so fond of watching. I think he brought you enough to keep you busy for several hours."

Trip ignored Phlox' wishful tone of voice, and leaned against the counter next to the doc.

"I've tried watchin' those, but Arh'Leen doesn't like them."

Phlox threw him a dry look. "The baby doesn't like your horror movies?"

Trip shrugged. "Starts whinin' every time the sound track gets too loud. I don't wanna scare her."

The doctor sighed, his hands resting on the edge of the counter. "Very well, Commander. Half an hour."

"Thanks, doc." Trip grinned, wisely not arguing the restricted time limit the doctor had set. "I'll just go get her ready, and we're off."

"Take an extra blanket with you," Phlox called after him as he went over to the IC unit. "We don't want her to catch a cold, hm?"

"Got it." Trip pushed the button to open the door, the prospect of leaving sickbay – even for a short time - filling him with renewed energy. He wasn't going to tell Phlox, but staying up for a longer period of time still made him feel rather weak and dizzy. The scar on his abdomen, even though it had shocked him at first sight by its sheer size, didn't really hurt due to the pain medication he was given, but the rest of his body was only slowly recovering. When he'd first tried solid food again after almost a month of intravenous feeding, his stomach had simply refused to cooperate, bringing back an unpleasant reminder of the time when he'd been sick like a dog each and every damned morning. In the meantime his digestion had more or less normalized again, but Trip knew that it would still take quite some time for his weakened metabolism to recuperate.

On entering the room, he noticed that Arh'Leen was awake. He'd put her down for her afternoon nap not too long ago, but she never seemed to sleep for more than three or four hours at the most.

Trip bent over the cot, smiling when her head turned and her eyes came to rest on him.

"Hey there."

Carefully lifting her out of her crib, he felt the bottom of her stretchsuit and nodded in satisfaction when he realized that her diaper didn't need to be changed just yet. The baby squawked happily as always when someone picked her up, and didn't protest when she was lowered into the sling Trip wore across his chest. These days, he hardly bothered taking off the soft cotton wrap anymore. Arh'Leen seemed to enjoy the physical contact, and Trip didn't mind at all, carrying her around during most of her waking time.

Remembering Phlox' advise, he picked up one of the blankets stacked on the small table next to her cot, and wrapped it around her.

"We're goin' for a walk," he told her, pressing the button to open the door. "Time you saw a little more of the ship."

Phlox looked over from the counter where he was busy strewing dry feed into one of his tanks. "Remember, Commander, you have to be back in half an hour at the latest. And if I hear you've been climbing any ladders-"

"Don't worry, doc." Trip quickly crossed the room before Phlox changed his mind and told him to stay, after all. "We're gonna be just fine."

As the sickbay doors slid shut behind him, Trip let out a sigh of relief. "Can you believe it," he said to Arh'Leen, adjusting the blanket so her head was covered as well, "we actually made it out of there."

Walking down the corridor towards the turbo lift, Trip realized that he was feeling better than he had in a long time. He'd been bedridden for so long that walking, actually going somewhere seemed to him like an unfamiliar and at the same time wonderful experience. He wasn't back in uniform yet, but at least he could wear actual clothing again instead of sickbay pajamas or – even worse – the one-piece hospital gowns. Besides, Trip had to admit that he felt rather comfortable in his loose pants and t-shirt. The skin on his abdomen was still sensitive to touch, and having the uniform rub against his scar didn't seem like a very good idea.

The turbolift was empty, and Trip leaned against the wall, allowing himself a moment's rest. Arh'Leen was unusually quiet, her eyes big as she stared at the unfamiliar surroundings, and Trip wrapped a protective arm around her. The layers of clothing between his hand and her back prevented the usual energy discharge, but the baby seemed to calm down at the touch.

"Hey, it's okay," he said. "Just goin' for a short visit. We'll be back in no time."

He left the turbo lift and walked down the corridor, feeling anticipation build in his stomach as he approached the door to Engineering. After Phlox had relieved him of duty, he'd often wished he could take a walk down here, just to see what was going on, but of course the doctor hadn't allowed it. Not to mention that at the time Trip would have collapsed only half-way out of his quarters. Still, he'd found his thoughts returning to his department, and even though Lieutenant Hess had dutifully sent him every report she'd written during his absence, Trip felt the need to see for himself that everything was still up to scratch.

He was just reaching out for the handle when the door suddenly swung open. Trip hastily took a step backwards so as not to bump into the person who briskly stepped out.

"Hey, Pam."

Ensign Kelly's eyes widened, then her face broke into a broad grin.

"Boss!" She turned around, addressing no one in particular as she yelled, "Hey guys, the boss is back!"

"What?"

Trip heard several surprised voices talking at the same time and felt Kelly's hand on his shoulder, pushing him forward. Lieutenant Hess climbed down the ladder from the upper level so quickly her foot got caught between the rungs and she stumbled, holding on to Michael Rostov's arm to keep herself from falling. Neither of them seemed to mind, both grinning like mad Cheshire cats as Trip came in. Kelly still had her hand on his shoulder , and a moment later they were surrounded by a crowd of people who were making a racket loud enough to drown out even the engine's steady hum.

"Commander!" Hess' face was glowing as she cleared a path through the crowd. She made as if to pull him into a hug, but stopped short when her eyes fell on the baby. "Is that-"

"That's Arh'Leen, yeah." Trip smiled. "The doc said we could go for a short walk and I thought I'd take her for a tour round Engineerin'."

"May I?"

Trip nodded, and Hess carefully stroked the baby's head, her eyes widening when she felt the soft crackling. "That's amazing."

Arh'Leen, who'd seemed rather intimidated at first by all the unfamiliar faces around her, apparently enjoyed the touch, and didn't mind when several other hands followed.

"I'm so glad you're feeling better, Commander," Hess said softly next to his ear as Crewman Howells pushed Kelly aside to get a better look at the baby. "You had us awfully worried."

"It's good to be back," Trip said simply. It was a lot more than that, but he couldn't put the feeling into words. Just being here in Engineering, surrounded by his staff, and knowing that soon he would be able to resume his work meant a lot. It would probably still take a while until Phlox allowed him to return to full duties, but Trip didn't really care. After all these weeks in a drug-induced coma, waiting a few more days wouldn't hurt.

"Okay, guys, give it a break!" Hess held up a hand, and the crowd stopped pushing, reluctantly moving back a few steps. "We're all very happy to have Commander Tucker back, but he's still supposed to take it easy. Aren't you, Commander?"

Trip nodded, knowing it was no use arguing when Hess switched to protective mode. Crewman Fuller who'd fought her way to the front gingerly extended a hand to stroke the baby's head.

"You said her name was Aileen?"

"It's Arh'Leen." In the meantime Trip had gotten used to people mishearing the baby's name, and continued explaining, "It's a Xyrillian name. Hoshi told me it's pronounced slightly different in their language, but it does sound a little like Aileen."

"Oh." Fuller ran her finger over the bronze scales again, watching in wonder as the baby's skin took on a faint blue glow where they touched.

"So..." Trip turned to Hess. "The stabilizers still makin' trouble? You mentioned some energy fluctuations in your last report."

"There were some small fluctuations in the distributors, caused by the nebula, I guess. Rostov and me took care of the problem."

Hess began to stroll down the narrow gangway next to the reactor, and Trip followed, smiling for no reason in particular. It was a good feeling, walking through Engineering and talking business with Hess, just like he used to do every day before all of this had happened. The crowd around them slowly dispersed, people stroking Arh'Leen's head or clapping him on the shoulder before they returned to their stations one by one.

"At the moment it's rather quiet down here, anyway," Hess said, throwing the reactor an almost wistful glance. "We've shut down warp drive more than a week ago when we entered the nebula, and aside from those fluctuations there wasn't much to keep us busy. Except from worrying about you."

Hess smiled when she said it, but Trip still felt his cheeks grow warm. He could easily imagine his entire department gathered around the intercom during his operation, anxiously waiting for news, and while he was touched by their concern, it wasn't exactly a situation he felt comfortable with.

"So..." Hess came to a halt next to a console, routinely checking the data on the screen. "The doctor didn't release you to your quarters yet?"

Trip sighed. "Believe me, I've tried every trick in the book, but he said I've gotta stay at least another three or four days. And there's still a little rearrangin' I've got to do before I go back."

A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. "Already found a place where to put the cradle?"

Trip grimaced, though he couldn't help but answer her grin. "We'll see about that."

"Oh, by the way..." Hess turned around to face him, and the teasing glint in her eyes told him she wasn't finished yet. "The crew have started a little collection, you know, stuff for the baby and the like."

Trip's eyes widened. "They haven't."

"Oh yes." Hess bit her lip. "Mike even donated his teddy to the cause."

"And I take it they took it all to my quarters."

She nodded. "Two whole boxes, as far as I remember."

Trip shook his head, trying to imagine his quarters furnished with a crib and shelves for layette and diapers. The idea certainly needed getting used to, but it wasn't like he had much of a choice. "Well, I guess I'll be needin' it more sooner than later."

Hess smiled. "At least you'll always have a dozen enthusiastic babysitters handy when you need an evening off."

Trip raised his eyebrows. "Babysitters?"

"Yep." Hess looked over her shoulder. "Yesterday I overheard Liz Cutler and Pam fighting who gets to ask you first." She grinned. "Your little lady seems to have recruited quite a fan club."

Not sure whether to feel amused or scared, Trip glanced down at the baby's head that was nestled against his chest. Arh'Leen's eyes were closed and she slept, completely ignorant of the fact that a whole starship crew seemed to be going crazy about her. He felt a smile tug at his lips at the thought.

"Well, looks like we're in for some fun."

###

"Be careful not to splash her face."

"I know, doc."

Trip carefully swished the water across the baby's stomach, then wet a washcloth and began to gently wash her face, wishing Phlox would stop hovering anxiously in the background. Granted, it was the first time he did the bathing job himself, but he'd come a long way since Malcolm had first taught him how to feed a baby. Three days ago it had still taken him almost five minutes to change her diaper, but in the meantime he was down to three minutes and improving. Despite his student's progress, however, the doctor was still rather anxious when it came to passing on jobs he'd previously taken care of himself.

Arh'Leen, on the other hand, didn't seem to mind being handed over to less experienced staff; she happily kicked the water with her feet, obviously enjoying the warmth and the attention she was given. Trip smiled, and proceeded to wash her arms and legs.

"Doc..."

"Yes, Commander?"

"Is it okay if I take the tub with me when I go back to my quarters? It'd be a little awkward to take her to sickbay every time she needs bathin'."

Phlox smiled. "No problem. I'll find something else to put my eels in when I'm cleaning their tank."

"Great, thanks." Trip decided to ignore the fact that he was bathing a baby in a container that had previously been a temporary home for a family of Denobulan fire eels. Living in close contact with the doctor's menagerie cured you rather effectively of any squeamishness you might still have left.

Running the wash cloth over the baby's hands and feet one last time, Trip carefully lifted her out of the tub. Arh'Leen squawked in protest, and he quickly laid her down on the towel lying nearby, wrapping it snugly around her until only her face was still visible. The baby squirmed, trying to get her freedom back, and after he'd dried off her arms and legs Trip unwrapped the towel again, allowing her to kick the air and wave her arms about to her heart's content.

"Careful so she doesn't fall off," Phlox called from the other end of the room, and Trip rolled his eyes. Picking up a diaper, he unfolded it and gently lifted the baby by the ankles, slipping the nappy underneath her.

"Sorry," he smiled, pulling up the front between her legs and fastening the tabs, "I know you don't like those things."

Indeed, Arh'Leen seemed to love being in direct physical contact with her environment with no restricting layer of clothes on her skin. Trip supposed it had something to do with the sensitive abilities of the Xyrillian skin, but Phlox had made it clear that it was necessary for Arh'Leen to always wear warm enough clothing. The ship's temperature was slightly lower than what Xyrillians were used to, and a cold was the last thing they needed at the moment.

At the sound of the door swishing open Trip turned around. Jon entered, wearing a t-shirt and jeans instead of his uniform, and Trip saw that he was holding something in his hand which he quickly hid behind his back when Phlox came nearer.

"Ah, Captain." The doctor smiled. "Is there something I can do for you, or did you just come to see Commander Tucker?"

"Everything's fine, doc." He grinned at Trip. "I just thought we could finally watch that game tonight. That is, if it's okay with you, doc."

Phlox held up his hands. "Perfectly fine. Actually I was planning to finish some experiments in the science lab this evening, so you'll have sickbay all to yourself."

"Great." Jon was still hiding his hands behind his back, and Trip wondered what he was up to. Phlox didn't seem to have noticed, gathering up some sample containers before he set off for the door.

"Oh, Commander..."

Trip raised his head. "Yeah?"

"Don't forget to raise the temperature of Arh'Leen's cot by two or three degrees when you put her to bed."

"I know, doc."

Phlox smiled broadly and left, with the contented air of a man who knew that he had everyone in the palm of his hand. As soon as the sickbay doors had slid shut, Jon produced two small cylindrical objects from behind his back, and Trip recognized them as two cans of beer.

"Well," Jon smiled apologetically, "it wouldn't be the real thing without, would it?"

Trip grinned. "We'll just have to be careful that he doesn't catch us."

He'd never asked Phlox whether he was allowed to consume alcoholic beverages just yet, but knew from experience that the doctor was rather reluctant allow any activity that sounded like fun.

"Just let me get her ready for bed and we can start."

Jon came closer, watching as Trip eased the stretchsuit's sleeve over Arh'Leen's right arm, then repeated the procedure with the left one.

"You know, you're getting to be really good at this." He waved a hand at the bath tub, including the assembly of diapers, bottles and napkins next to it.

Trip grimaced. "Tell that to the doc. He's fussin' all the time, tellin' me the same things over and over again."

Jon bit his lip. "I'm sure he means well."

"I know." Noticing Jon run a hand over his mouth to hide a grin, Trip decided to drop the subject. In the meantime, Arh'Leen was fully dressed, and he lifted her up, with one hand gathering up the bottle he'd prepared.

"Wanna come along? I still have to give her her bottle before I put her to bed."

"Sure." Jon followed him, pushing the button to open the door as Trip literally had his hands full. Arh'Leen, who knew the procedure, began to squirm impatiently, squawking in anticipation.

"Hey, slow down there, jus' a moment."

Taking a seat on the chair next to his bed, Trip rested her head in the crook of his arm, and brought the bottle to her lips. A moment later Arh'Leen was sucking eagerly, her eyes half-closing as she enjoyed her meal. Jon sat on the edge of the biobed, a smile crossing his lips at the sight.

"Bathing sure stirred her appetite, didn't it?"

"Seems so." Trip wiped some dribbled formula off her chin. "But then, she's always hungry in the evenin'." He sighed. "Doesn't keep her from havin' a midnight snack, of course."

Jon raised his eyebrows, his expression a mixture of amusement and sympathy. "She doesn't sleep through?"

Trip shook his head. "No. Usually wakes up about five or six times every night, more often when she's had a bad day. The first few nights Phlox took care of her, but two days ago he told me it was time I started gettin' used to my parental duties."

Again, Jon ran a hand over his mouth. "Speaking of which, Trip..."

Trip looked up. "Yeah?"

"Phlox told me you won't be fit to go back on duty for at least another two weeks, but we'll have to find an arrangement once you return to work."

Trip sighed; hearing that the "few days" of sick leave he'd had in mind were actually another two weeks didn't exactly help to lift his mood. And there was of course the problem that he had to split his time between Arh'Leen and his department, which was going to be far from easy. "Well, I can't really take her down to Engineerin' with me."

"That's what Phlox said." Jon hesitated, as always when he was about to say something Trip wasn't going to like. "Listen, Trip, I talked to the doc, and he offered to take care of Arh'Leen." Jon paused. "In the morning."

Trip stared at him. "And in the afternoon?"

Jon shifted on the edge of the bed. "He said he'd also look after her two or three afternoons a week, but the rest of the days you'll, ah, be on half-time duties."

Trip didn't know what to say. The idea of spending less time in his department admittedly didn't sit well with him, but at the same time he knew that it could have been a lot worse. He could have been ordered to leave Enterprise altogether, and remembering how he'd lain awake at night, asking himself what the hell he was going to do if worse came to worse and they ordered him back, after all, he had to admit that half-time duties didn't sound so bad in comparison.

"Well," he said, realizing that Jon expected an answer, "I guess I can do some work in my quarters as well."

Jon nodded, apparently relieved. "Sure you can. And Trip... " He paused briefly. "If you ever need something, I'm here, okay? I can imagine it's going to be pretty rough at times, but I want you to know that you can come to me anytime you want."

Trip smiled. "Thanks, Jon." He had no illusions about the fact that he was probably going to take the Captain up on that offer. A wry smile came to his lips when he thought of the comment about working mothers he'd made in the Captain's mess all those weeks ago. Soon his offhand remark was going to become reality, and Trip knew that "pretty rough" was probably an understatement. In more ways than one.

"You know..." he began, not looking at Jon while he was talking. "Sometimes when I think of how it's goin' to be... you know, when she gets older and all... I'm just scared. I don't know whether I can take the responsibility. She's gonna have to deal with a lot of things, bein' different, facin' people's prejudices... And I don't know if I'll be able to give her the support she needs." He raised his eyes. "What if I'm not, Jon? I couldn't even stand up to those crewpeople myself when they were gossipin' about me. It was T'Pol who told them to keep their big mouths shut. What if..." He hesitated, and then spoke what had been on his mind for a long time. "What if she'll hate me when she's older? At the moment she doesn't know she's different, but she'll realize soon enough, and maybe she'll blame me for puttin' her into this situation." Trip shook his head. "I guess what scares me most is that I don't really know if I'll be able to... to cope."

Jon was silent for a moment, and part of Trip regretted that he'd spoiled the light, bantering mood between them. The Captain had come to watch a waterpolo match, and instead had to play counselor for his Chief Engineer who seemed uniquely gifted in finding more trouble than he could deal with. Trip sighed.

"Sorry, Jon. I don't know why I'm tellin' you this-"

"Trip." Jon's voice made him look up. "It's okay. You need to talk about this, and as I said, I'm here whenever you need me." He paused. "Trip, I don't know if you're aware of it, but you're coping a lot better than anyone could have expected you to. You almost died, spent weeks in a coma, you had major surgery only a few days ago, and now you're already up and about, talking about going back to work." Jon sighed. "I understand you are worried, but give it time, okay? I know you, Trip, and I know that you'll manage. You'll do fine. I'm sure of that."

A small noise from below interrupted him. Arh'Leen had finished her bottle and was becoming restless, squirming and kicking her feet. Trip placed a napkin on his shoulder and lifted her up, patting her on the back and rocking her gently at the same time.

"You know, maybe you're right, and I'm worryin' too much." He smiled wryly. "Never thought I was gonna say this one day, but maybe T'Pol was right about those parental feelings. I just don't want her to be unhappy."

Jon regarded him for a moment. "We'll all do our best to help you, Trip. And as to your standing up to people, I think you're going to do just fine. You're awfully protective of your staff, and you've always backed them up when they needed your support. I'm not saying it won't be difficult, but you're not alone in this, either." He smiled. "Arh'Leen is a member of my crew, so in a way she's my responsibility just as well."

Trip answered his smile. "Thanks, Jon."

That moment the baby gave a small burp. Trip wiped her mouth with the napkin, then wrapped a blanket around her as he always did after her feeding. The combined warmth and physical contact seemed to help her relax, and soon her eyes closed, her breathing becoming slow and even.

"Just a moment," he whispered to Jon, and they both sat very quietly as the baby quieted down, slipping deeper into sleep. After a while Trip carefully got up. "Okay, I think we can try now."

Very gently he lowered her into her cot, and let out a sigh of relief when she slept on, not stirring as he tucked her up. Making sure her feet were covered by the blanket, Trip adjusted the heat regulator to a slightly higher temperature, then turned to Jon.

"Let's go."

They tiptoed to the door, and to Trip's relief there was no protesting cry from the cot as he dimmed the light, pressing the button to open the door. Once outside, Jon wiped his forehead.

"It's a full-time job, isn't it?"

"Tell me about it." Trip sighed dramatically, plopping down on one of the biobeds. "So, let's get started! I've been waitin' to see those guys lose for quite some time now."

"Insubordination, Commander." The Captain handed him one of the beer cans and pulled a small data chip from his pocket. "And a rather sad illusion as well."

Inserting the chip, Jon turned the bio monitor so he had a clear view of the screen as well, then took a seat on the chair next to the bed. It wasn't really the most comfortable way of following the events on the screen, but Trip didn't mind. The mere fact that he was watching a waterpolo match together with Jon reminded him of the way things had been before, and it was reassuring to know that he could still get parts of his old life back.

Opening his can of beer, he clunked it against Jon's and took a big sip, the drink still a little too bitter on his taste buds which had been inactive for so long. The match had started, and Trip leaned back, watching as the players quickly passed the ball to each other. After only a few minutes Monterey's midfield player botched his first scoring chance, and Jon groaned.

"What is it with that guy, I thought they'd substituted him after the quarter finals anyw-"

"Bridge to Captain Archer."

T'Pol's voice came from the intercom on the wall, drowning out the sound of the match. His eyes still on the screen, Jon got up to answer the call.

"Archer here."

"Captain, an alien vessel is approaching on an intercept course." She paused. "I suggest you come to the bridge, sir."

"On my way. Archer out."

Sighing, Jon turned around. "Sorry, Trip. Looks like you'll have to watch it on your own."

Seeing the disappointment in the Captain's eyes, Trip leaned forward and switched off the monitor. "We'll watch it another time. That's no problem." He hesitated, then decided that it couldn't hurt to try. "Cap'n, can I-"

"No, Trip." Jon shook his head. "You're still not discharged from sickbay, and I don't want you to exhaust yourself by wandering round the ship."

He was already on his way to the door when he turned around again. "I'll keep you updated, okay?"

Trip nodded, watching glumly as the sickbay doors slid shut behind the Captain. He hated being locked up in the doctor's little private prison, but knew he'd catch hell from both Jon and Phlox if he sneaked out to see what was going on. Besides, someone had to be here in case Arh'Leen woke up. Lying back with a sigh, Trip stared at the stainless white of the sickbay ceiling and wondered what the hell was going on up there.

###

T'Pol rose from the command chair the moment Archer entered the bridge.

"Captain," she said, her voice sounding a little too controlled for his tastes. "They're still on an intercept course, and approaching our current position."

The Captain frowned, watching the small vessel which was rapidly coming nearer. Somehow its sleek design seemed vaguely familiar to him.

"Have you tried hailing them?" he asked, not taking his eyes off the screen.

"Not yet, sir," Hoshi said. "They're not quite within comm range."

Archer turned to T'Pol who had taken her place at the science station. "Life signs?"

There was a brief moment of silence. Archer, who was used to getting quick answers from his Vulcan science officer, raised his eyebrows. "T'Pol?"

She looked up, and even though her face didn't betray any emotions, Archer knew that she found her findings to be... intriguing, to say the least. "There are two life signs aboard the vessel, Captain." T'Pol raised an eyebrow. "They're both Xyrillian, sir."

Before Archer had the chance to react, Hoshi spoke up again. "We're being hailed, sir."

"On the screen."

He swallowed, watching as Hoshi pressed a few buttons on her console. The stars disappeared, transforming into flickering light, but then the image cleared, and a familiar face appeared on the view screen.

"Captain Archer," said Ah'Len.

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