The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea- Chapter 14

The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

by Sita Z

Disclaimers in Chapter 1

****

Chapter 14

It took Archer a moment to recover from his initial shock. Squaring his shoulders, he tried for his voice to sound neutral as he answered.

"Ah'Len." He paused briefly, noticing that she was no longer wearing the tight-fitting silvery uniform, but a loose gown that had the rusty color of her skin. "What do you want?"

It came out somewhat sharper than he'd intended it to, but Ah'Len seemed to have expected no different. She appeared nervous, her voice tight as she spoke.

"I'm so glad we've finally found you, Captain. S'Raan and I have been searching for weeks..."

"What do you want?" Archer repeated, surprised at his own reaction to the woman on the screen. Granted, he'd been furious at her when they'd left the Xyrillian ship, but that seemed like an eternity ago. Now, he found himself feeling almost sorry for her. Ah'Len hesitated briefly before she continued.

"Captain, after what happened back on Tr'Nal's ship... I found myself unable to go on as if nothing had happened. I... I knew that I hadn't told the truth about what happened in the holographic chamber, and even though Tr'Nal believed me, I... realized I couldn't leave it at that." She paused, her face a rigid mask as she fought to keep her voice calm. "I resigned from the service and talked to my partner on Thera. He was willing to help me search for your ship, and... have your doctor transfer the fetus to his body once we had found you."

"Well, it's a little late for that." Archer didn't even try to keep the sarcasm from his voice. Ah'Len lowered her gaze.

"It took us five weeks until we finally discovered your warp trace. We've been flying at maximum speed ever since. Captain..." She looked up, and Archer saw the genuine despair in her eyes. "Commander Tucker... he's dead, isn't he?"

The Captain was silent for a moment. Ah'Len's question stirred emotions in him that were difficult to keep under control. He'd come so close to losing his friend, and the memories of Trip on the brink of death still returned to haunt him, especially at times like these.

"No," he said finally. "He's not dead."

Ah'Len's eyes widened fractionally. "He's... he's not dead?" The Xyrillian woman briefly closed her eyes, and when she looked back at him, some of the tension had disappeared from her features. "And the child..."

"She has survived as well." Archer didn't wait for Ah'Len's reaction to the news, and continued, "Ah'Len, why don't you and your partner come to my ship so we can discuss this with all concerned parties present. I'm afraid we don't have any decompression facilities..."

"That's no problem," Ah'Len said, suddenly all business. "My ship has a decompression chamber in its docking area. It will probably take about an hour until we can come aboard, Captain."

Archer nodded his agreement. "One hour. I'll meet you at the airlock." He gestured for Hoshi to cut the connection. "Archer out."

The stars reappeared where Ah'Len's face had been. No one spoke, but Archer felt all eyes resting on him.

"Well," he said, "I'm going down to sickbay. T'Pol..."

The Vulcan raised an eyebrow. "Yes, Captain?"

"Meet me at the airlock in one hour."

"Aye, sir."

###

Archer was aware of T'Pol's eyes on him as he took his position next to the airlock. Even though she claimed to be unfamiliar with emotions, she seemed able to detect his every mood, reacting to it in her own, subtle way. Like right now, as she squared her shoulders and stepped a little closer, her face a portrait in Vulcan self-control.

"Captain," she said. "I am certain you made the right decision, inviting them here."

Archer nodded, silently acknowledging her encouragement. He wasn't so sure he was doing the right thing. It felt wrong, receiving the Xyrillians as if they were alien diplomats on a first contact mission, as if they hadn't kicked Archer and his team out the door only two months ago.

Trip had taken the news of Ah'Len's arrival rather calmly. Too calmly for Archer's liking. He knew that Trip, usually impulsive and outgoing, switched to stony mode when he was upset and didn't want anyone to know. Worried by his friend's rigid countenance, Archer had suggested that Trip didn't come to the airlock, but wait in the conference room where staff meetings usually were held. One hell of a staff meeting, Archer thought. Trip had agreed without objection, not asking what exactly they were going to discuss. Not, Archer mused, that he would have been able to give him an answer.

The panel next to the airlock lit up, indicating that the docking process was complete. Straightening his posture, Archer nodded at the crewman standing at attention next to the bulkhead. There was a soft hiss as the locking mechanism was deactivated, then the bulkhead slid aside.

Walking through the door designed for a larger people, the two Xyrillians seemed even smaller, almost delicate. Ah'Len was still wearing the flowing bronze robe, her expression tense as she took in the unfamiliar surroundings. A few steps behind her followed a Xyrillian man, slightly taller than her and clad in a similar robe, only that his gown lacked the soft smoothness of her clothing. The bony ridges on his head were more prominent than with most Xyrillians Archer had seen on Tr'Nal's ship, his rustcolored skin a few shades darker than Ah'Len's. He looked nervous.

"Captain Archer." Ah'Len came to a halt in front of them, her eyes briefly settling on T'Pol, then coming to rest on him. "Thank you for allowing us to come aboard."

She gestured to the Xyrillian man at her side. "This is my partner S'Raan."

Archer managed a smile, turning his palms upward in what he remembered to be the Xyrillian gesture of welcome. "Pleased to meet you."

S'Raan returned the gesture. "I am pleased to meet you, too, Captain," he said in a quiet, somewhat husky voice.

"This is Subcommander T'Pol."

Both Xyrillians greeted the Vulcan with upturned palms, and T'Pol mirrored their gesture, bowing her head in acknowledgement.

Archer took a deep breath. "I've asked Commander Tucker to wait in the conference room. He's still recovering, and isn't supposed to take long walk in the corridors," he added for means of explanation. No need for them to know that he'd also wanted to spare Trip the embarrassment of meeting the Xyrillians in such a public place.

"Please, follow me."

Archer noted that both Ah'Len and her partner seemed a little disoriented walking down the corridor towards the turbolift, blinking and shaking their heads as if to rid themselves of a dizzy spell.

"If the conditions on our ship cause you discomfort, maybe you should lie down for a while," T'Pol stated, but Ah'Len held up a hand.

"Thank you, Subcommander, but that will not be necessary."

Neither of the Xyrillians said a word after that, and Archer didn't really feel inclined to make polite conversation. S'Raan's gaze wandered across the bulkheads and panels, and later in the turbolift he stared at the ceiling lamps with a mixture of curiosity and confusion. The man seemed truly intrigued by his surroundings, and Archer supposed that he had never been on an alien ship before. If it had been only S'Raan, the Captain would have been happy to offer a tour around the ship, but Ah'Len's presence seemed to forbid any amicable approach. Her face was a stony mask, and she obviously felt so uncomfortable that any attempt at hospitality seemed uncalled-for to Archer.

Outside the conference room T'Pol came to a halt, clasping her hands behind her back.

"Captain, I do not think my presence is required at this meeting," she said. "You will not need any scientific information, and I have no wish to intrude into the Commander's privacy by attending."

Archer nodded. "As you wish, Subcommander."

T'Pol bowed her head in the Xyrillians' direction, but the Captain noticed that her eyes lacked all warmth as they settled on Ah'Len. Being a perfect diplomat, T'Pol treated the Xyrillian woman with the same neutral politeness she always displayed in the presence of strangers, but Archer knew her well enough to see through the facade of control. T'Pol was genuinely angry at Ah'Len.

Archer turned to the Xyrillians, his hand hovering over the opening mechanism of the door. "Commander Tucker asked me to be present," he said. "I hope you don't object."

"We don't," Ah'Len said, keeping her eyes straight ahead. Archer opened the door, and gestured for the Xyrillians to enter first.

Trip sat with his back to them, but got up immediately when the door opened. Archer noticed that the engineer was back in uniform, and raised his eyebrows, but made no comment.

"Commander." For the first time since she'd come aboard, Ah'Len sounded less than calm and controlled. Trip nodded a mute greeting, and Archer saw the muscles in his jaw work.

"Trip, this is S'Raan, Ah'Len's partner."

"Hi." Trip's eyes shifted to S'Raan who seemed to feel uncomfortable, but held the other man's gaze. Then he looked back at Ah'Len. "Your partner?" he asked quietly, no particular expression on his face. Ah'Len straightened her back.

"Yes," she said. "We've been bonded for five years."

Silence followed. Archer let out the air he'd been holding, deciding that an attempt at diplomacy was in order. "Why don't we all take a seat, that'll be more comfortable than standing around here," he suggested, wincing inwardly at the false heartiness of his tone. He knew that sitting down wouldn't help to make this more comfortable in any way.

Trip sat down on his former chair, and after a moment's hesitation, Ah'Len and her partner took seats on the opposite side of the small conference table. As he sat down next to his friend, Archer noticed that Trip didn't look very well. His face was pale, and there were dark areas under his eyes, showing clearly that the engineer was far from recovered.

Again a moment of silence followed. Ah'Len studied Trip as if she expected him to say something, but as he kept silent she decided to begin.

"Commander, I know it changes nothing about what happened, but... I want to apologize for my actions aboard Tr'Nal's ship. For lying about what happened between us in the holographic chamber, and for... not being honest about the ritual in the first place. It is no excuse, but I had no idea that it could happen with someone from another species. I cannot say how much I regret that it came to this."

Trip didn't answer immediately, staring down at his hands. After a while he raised his head.

"Why did you come back? Just to tell me how sorry you are?"

Ah'Len exchanged a brief glance with S'Raan. "I already told your captain that the search took us longer than we had expected. We hoped to find you still in time for your doctor to transfer the fetus to S'Raan's body."

"Transfer the fetus?" Trip looked at S'Raan. "I thought your people considered the procedure unethical."

"Many of them do," the Xyrillian man said in his slightly hoarse voice. "But the circumstances were different. You're not a Xyrillian and so our ethics do not apply in this case."

The statement surprised Archer. Tr'Nal and his crewmates had refused to make the slightest concession in this regard, but obviously S'Raan, at least, thought different. Trip seemed surprised as well.

"You were willin' to have the fetus transferred to your body, even though it wasn't your child?"

S'Raan was very serious as he answered. "Ah'Len is my partner. Of course I was willing."

There seemed nothing to add, and Archer fought the urge to intervene, say something to ease the tension that was still hanging over the room. He knew that this time he had to let Trip do the talking.

"Alright," Trip said. "So you're tellin' me you've left your ship to find me and have the baby transferred. What I don't really understand, though, is why you lied in the first place. When Captain Tr'Nal asked you about the holo chamber, why didn't you tell him the truth about what happened?"

He looked at Ah'Len who was visibly forcing herself to meet his eyes.

"It... isn't easy for me to explain," she said. "Tr'Nal told you that the Xyrillian society is very strict about... these things. If I had admitted that I never told you about... about the ritual, I'd have most likely lost my commanding degree, and maybe they'd have expelled me from the fleet altogether. What's even more... Tr'Nal trusts me. Well, he did anyway. I couldn't bring myself to disappoint that trust so badly." She paused, closing her eyes. "I know how that must sound to you. And I can't tell you why I lied to you in the holographic chamber. Maybe... maybe I was afraid you'd say no. I don't know. All I can say is that I've never regretted anything more in my life."

"And that's why you came back?" Trip asked quietly.

Ah'Len was silent for a moment. "For a while I tried to put it all behind me, push it out of my mind, but it didn't work. I realized I couldn't go on like that. I had dishonored you and betrayed my partner, and I couldn't forget about it like it never happened." Archer noticed that S'Raan was studying his hands, carefully avoiding to meet anyone's eyes. "I quit the service," Ah'Len continued, "and told Tr'Nal that I had to go back to Thera."

"Did you tell him the truth about what happened?" Archer asked before he could stop himself. Ah'Len lowered her eyes.

"No," she said very quietly, but no one had trouble understanding her. "I... I couldn't. Maybe he suspected something, but he never said a word. He didn't ask why I had to leave. Some people in the fleet still owe me a favor, so I was able to get this ship." She looked up again, meeting Trip's eyes. Archer had the impression that her distress was genuine, not only play-acting in order to get the absolution she seemed to need so badly. But then, he couldn't be sure of that. Ah'Len had proved before that she was quite good at acting.

"Commander, I am so sorry that we didn't make it in time. You could have died, and-"

"She could have died," Trip interrupted, his voice tense. "The child. Ever thought of that? If anythin' had gone wrong, our doctor wouldn't have been able to help her."

Ah'Len stared at him. It was obvious that Trip's word came as a surprise to her.

"Commander," she began, " we tried to find you in time, but-"

"You don't get it, do you?" Trip said, and Archer noticed that he had interrupted her yet again, something he wouldn't normally do. "I still don't understand why you lied to me and later to Tr'Nal, and I don't care, either. What I do care about, though, is that you could've killed her, and you didn't care about it any more than you cared about what happened to me." He paused. "I'm askin' you again - why did you come back?"

"To apologize," Ah'Len said quietly, not missing a beat even though Trip's words had visibly shaken her up. "And I came back for my child. I know you don't believe me, but I do care what happens to her."

"You've got a funny way of showin' it," Trip said, and beneath his flippant tone Archer sensed anger and hurt. Trip had been holding it inside, had never talked about the Xyrillians to anyone, but it was obvious that the humiliating scene back on Tr'Nal's ship was still very present in his mind. "If you cared about what happened to her, why didn't you even try to come to my help?"

"I told you, I couldn't," Ah'Len replied, her former calm tone wavering. "And Dr. K'Ron would never agree to transfer a fetus, no matter what circumstances. There was nothing I could do!"

"Well, you didn't even try, did you?" Trip's pale cheeks were flushing with anger, and he spoke fast, like someone voicing feelings that have been on his mind for too long. "You just stood by and watched when that captain of yours treated me like some kinda criminal, and you let them kick us out without ever sayin' a word. You said Tr'Nal trusted you. He'd have believed you if you had told him the truth."

"What good would that have been?" Ah'Len sounded frustrated. "You saw what they're like! They-"

"What good?" Trip let out a small, humorless laugh. "You didn't even try to talk to them. They'd've listened to you! Maybe your doctor could've given Phlox the information he needed to transfer the child. But that's the point - you didn't even try!"

Trip had raised his voice, and Archer forced himself not to intervene in any way. He wanted to lay a hand on Trip's arm, do something to make this easier for him, but at the same time knew that these things needed to be said.

Ah'Len sat very straight, her chin raised. "Commander, whether you like it or not, you'll have to face the fact that this child is my responsibility as well. I can only say that I'm sorry for what has happened, and hope you'll accept my apology. I fully understand if you refuse to do so. But still, I'm not going to turn my back on you and leave. We will have to decide what to do about the child, and I will have to take part in that decision."

"I see." Trip got up, and for a moment Archer believed he was going to walk out, but then the engineer turned around again. His hands were shaking, and he closed his fingers around the back rest of his abandoned chair, gripping it so hard his knuckles turned white. "It's so damn easy for you, isn't it? You mess around with some guy just because he doesn't happen to know about you matin' rituals, and then you lie your captain straight in the face, because you feel you can't betray his trust!" At these last words, Trip was practically sneering. "And then you suddenly decide you're responsible, after all. You come back and act like I ought to be grateful that you've changed your mind, like all you have to do is say your sorry and everythin' will be alright. You know what? I don't care a shit if you're sorry. All I know is that you never said a word even though you knew the child could die if it wasn't transferred. So don't give me that bullshit about feelin' responsible and decidin' what to do next. You don't care about her, you're just worried you'll lose your face completely if you don't try to settle things, or whatever it is that you're here for. What were you plannin' to do, anyway? Pay me so I don't tell anyone it's your child?"

He let out a short, angry laugh, and Archer saw that Trip was fighting hard to keep control of his emotions. The engineer took a deep breath, and continued in a calmer tone. "Look, I don't think there's much use in talkin'. I'll accept your apology if that'll make you feel better, but there's no way you're tellin' me what to do. No way. Get that?"

Trip didn't wait for an answer, turned abruptly and left, so quickly that the doors had slid shut behind him before Archer had even opened his mouth to call him back. Ah'Len was still perched stiffly on her chair, her face not giving away any emotions. S'Raan, on the other hand, didn't seem quite as calm, making as if to go after Trip, but Ah'Len put a hand on his arm.

"Don't. I don't think it would be a very good idea right now." Her voice was strained, and Archer saw that it cost her a lot to keep her cool countenance.

The Captain was torn. He understood why Trip had reacted so vehemently, but the realistic part of his mind told him that the situation had to be redeemed, and quickly so. As much as he sympathized with Trip - in his place he'd probably have reacted just the same - he knew that Ah'Len was at least partly right: They had to come to a decision, and this decision would have to include the Xyrillians, as well. If he left now to go after Trip, diplomatic relations might very well be damaged beyond repair.

Keeping this in mind, Archer forced himself to stay put. "Ah'Len, maybe we can continue this discussion at another time. You are, of course, very welcome to our guest quarters if you'd like to spend the night aboard."

Ah'Len rose from her chair. "Thank you, Captain, but that will not be necessary. We will return to our ship. I'd appreciate it, however, if you gave your permission for us to come back later. Maybe Commander Tucker just needs some time to think this over, and we can talk again tomorrow."

Archer didn't like her slightly condescending tone, but said nothing. "Of course."

"Wait a minute," S'Raan interrupted, and Ah'Len turned to face her partner.

"Is there a problem?"

S'Raan looked first at her, then at Archer. "I don't think he'll be more willing to listen to us in the morning. And he has a point. I understand why he left earlier."

Ah'Len frowned. "S'Raan," she began, but her partner cut her off.

"I'm going to talk to him," he said. "Now."

He got up, but before he had reached the door Ah'Len caught up with him, taking his arm.

"I don't think that's a very good idea," she said, throwing a quick glance at Archer who politely averted his eyes. "You'll only make things worse. And besides, why should he listen to you any more than he listened to me?"

"He has no reason not to," S'Raan replied quietly, and from the corner of his eye Archer saw Ah'Len let go of her partner's arm, stepping back as if he had pushed her. S'Raan held her gaze for a moment, then resumed his way to the door. This time she didn't try to hold him back, watching with barely concealed hurt on her face as he left.

Archer sighed. These people certainly did nothing to make things easier.

TBC

Continue to Chapter 15

Return to Chapter 13

Back to Fan Fiction Main Menu

Have a comment to make about this story? Do so in the Trip Fan Fiction forum at the HoTBBS!

Two folks have made comments

What will Trip do now? Let Ah'len have the baby? Or keep it on Enterprise? I guess he'll do what's best for the baby. But what is the best for her? By the way, I love her name. And I loved how Trip reacted to Ah'len. She deserved it. ;)

No! Trip can't give up the child after what he's been through! Trip deserves to keep her. Please write more, this is way to cool for you to stop now!