The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea - Chapter 5

The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

by Sita Z

Disclaimers in Chapter 1

****

Chapter 5

The next morning when he entered sickbay Trip saw that the Captain was already there, standing together with Phlox in front of a bio screen. The doctor was looking rather grim, while Jon had a worried frown on his face. Neither of them turned around as Trip stepped closer, them being thoroughly absorbed with the data displayed on the monitor in front of them.

"Mornin'," Trip said, suddenly feeling rather apprehensive. How the hell was he going to explain this? He knew it wasn't his strongest side to put his feelings into words. Jon and Phlox turned around to face him, and Trip felt his palms itching with sweat. This wasn't going to be easy.

"Commander," Phlox said without his usual heartiness. "You're quite early."

"Everything okay, Trip?" The frown on Archer's face deepened.

Trip nodded nervously. "I'm fine."

Phlox pointed at one of the biobeds and picked up his med scanner. "Just take a seat while I run a few more scans. It'll take some time to prepare you for surgery, so-"

"Doc, I..." Trip swallowed. "I've decided not to undergo the operation."

Archer raised his head sharply at these words, and Phlox' eyebrows went up, giving his round face an almost comical expression of surprise.

"Trip, are you sure about this?" Jon sounded concerned. "The doctor just told me that the fetus has reached the last stadium in which it is possible to... extract it."

"Medically ethical, to be exact." Phlox folded his hands over his scanner. "You are aware of the fact, Commander, that if you decide not to have me operate on you now, there will be no way to abort the fetus at a later point in time."

"Yes." All of a sudden, it wasn't that hard to keep his voice stable as he spoke. "I've made my decision. I'm not gonna change my mind again." Jon was still watching him, worry evident on his face, and Trip forced himself to meet his gaze. "You said it was up to me, Jon. I... I can't do this."

Archer contemplated, and to Trip's immense surprise he didn't ask any questions. He only nodded, briefly laying a hand on Trip's shoulder.

"The decision is yours to make. Still... be sure you really mean it."

Trip heard the unspoken warning in his tone. Archer was only too aware of the fact that his engineer's condition was a potentially dangerous, maybe even life-threatening one, and that his decision not to undergo the operation might well have fatal consequences. Not to speak of the unpleasant consequences that were certain to follow. Trip was grateful that despite these circumstances Jon accepted his decision without questioning his reasons, or trying to dissuade him. He nodded, and Jon met his eyes, holding his gaze for a long moment before he turned back to the doctor.

Returning his attention to Phlox, Trip noticed that the doctor was wearing a small, almost imperceptible smile on his lips.

"What's so funny, doc?"

Phlox turned towards him, and his smile grew broader, regaining the warmth the doctor's face had lacked earlier.

"You will forgive me, Commander, when I tell you that your decision does not exactly come as a surprise to me. Which is the reason why I asked you to think it over. I'm... glad you came to this decision."

Trip let out a deep breath. This was easier than he'd thought it would be; no confused or even irritated questions concerning his sudden change of mind, no lectures about medical ethics and no doubting looks from Archer's side. They seemed to accept his decision as being his and his alone, and Jon's quiet understanding made Trip feel confident.

"Well, Commander," Phlox said, breaking into his thoughts, "I suppose under these circumstances a little change of schedule is in order. Why don't you sit down while I take a few scans-"

"Doc!" Trip turned and started to walk towards the door, picking up his pace as the doctor started to follow. "I'm perfectly fine, and I got a whole lotta work to do in Engineerin'-"

"Trip-" Archer began, but Phlox cut him off.

"Stop right there, Commander." The doctor's voice had quite a dangerous tone to it, and before Trip knew what was happening he was being marched off towards one of the biobeds, Phlox' fingers holding his upper arm in an iron grip.

"Hey, doc, I ain't got time for this-"

"Sit down and be quiet, Commander." Phlox, still looking very grim, pushed him down on the edge of the bed and stepped up to him until they were almost nose-to-nose. "I'm only going to say this once, and I do advise you to listen very closely. You know I approve of your decision, but this decision also implies that from now on I have a great responsibility resting upon my shoulders. It is my duty as a physician to see to it that both you and the child get the best medical attention I can provide, and I won't allow your personal dislike of medical examinations or your dedication to your work get in the way of that duty. I do not have to remind you that the responsibility is yours just as well." He paused, waiting for his words to sink in. "You will keep every appointment I set, no matter how urgently you feel your presence is needed elsewhere, and you will follow my medical orders to the letter, no matter how "unnecessary" you deem them to be. I know how stubborn you can be, Commander, but this time it will be no use arguing. And should it come to my attention that you did not do exactly what I said, you can be certain I will... take measures. Is that clear?"

Trip stared at the doctor's face which was still only inches from his own, then nodded slowly. "Crystal, doc."

Phlox stepped back, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Good. And, Captain..." Phlox turned to Archer, and Trip saw that once again the Captain was doing his best to hide a smile that was tugging at his lips. "I trust I can count on your support in this?"

At Phlox' stern tone, Archer sobered up quickly. "Of course, doctor." He raised his eyebrows at Trip. "You heard Phlox, Trip. At the moment your physical condition takes precedence. Maybe you'll have to delegate some of your work to Lieutenant Hess, but I want you to listen to the doctor in this, okay?"

Trip nodded, biting down on his lips to prevent an angry comment from slipping out. He hated being patronized and ordered about, and loathed the idea of neglecting his work in Engineering in order to sit around on a sickbay bed, but he knew just as well he would get nowhere arguing. Besides, Phlox was right. Trying to get around physicals or similar sickbay procedures while in his normal state of health was one thing, but now doing so could be downright dangerous. Dangerous not only to him.

Satisfied at having successfully intimidated his patient, Phlox picked up his scanner and began running it over Trip, once more talking in a cheerful voice as if nothing had happened.

"Well, Commander, it seems that the fetus is in a good state of health, considering the unusual circumstances. There is no reason why its development shouldn't take a perfectly normal course." He pointed at the bio screen above the bed. "As you can see, it has integrated itself even further with your pericardium during the last forty-eight hours. I assume you felt something like a dull pain in your side at some points?"

Trip registered that the doctor had asked him a question, but didn't take in the actual meaning of the words. His attention was totally focused on the small image of the internal scan that was displayed on the bio screen, and even though there wasn't much to see, he couldn't help but feel fascinated. A little scared, too, but still fascinated.

"Is that..."

"That is the fetus, yes." Phlox pointed at a dark spot in the left upper corner. "This is its head, and the thin white line here represents its spine. As far as I can tell, the fetus has reached a developmental stadium equivalent to the third month of gestation in a human pregnancy."

Archer had joined them in front of the monitor, staring at the screen with a mixture of fascination and worry.

"How can it possibly survive like that?" he asked. "I mean... there's no uterus and..."

Trip noticed that the Captain was deliberately avoiding his eyes, and felt his cheeks grow hot. Why all of this had to be so damn embarrassing he did not know. Phlox, however, seemed to be completely oblivious to the awkwardness of the situation, launching into an enthusiastic lecture as he always did when someone required medical information.

"It is quite a fascinating thing, actually. Apparently, by integrating itself with the pericardium, the baby is able to extract the nutrients it needs from its host's body. Additionally a layer of fat tissue seems to have formed around the fetus, protecting it and providing nourishment at the same time. She has no trouble surviving at all."

"She?" Trip stared at Phlox, and Archer's head snapped around as well. The doctor smiled.

"Well, of course she. I determined the fetus' sex quite some time ago. It is clearly female."

Trip swallowed. Hearing the doctor refer to the fetus as a she was confusing, to say the very least. He'd never really thought of it as a being, let alone a person; to him that thing in his side had been more like a parasite, and even his decision not to undergo the operation had been made on a rather abstract basis, not an emotional one. Looking at the image on the screen, thinking of the fetus as a child was disturbing. The idea of the parasite had suited him better, somehow; while disgusting, a parasite was not really something you had to give a lot of thought to. Or take care of.

"Well," Archer said in a resolute tone, almost startling Trip. "I guess there are some things we still need to settle. Doc, is Trip fit for duty, or-"

"Jon!" Trip couldn't believe they were having this discussion yet again. "I'm perfectly fine! There's no reason I-"

"At the moment I see no danger in allowing the Commander to continue work in Engineering," Phlox cut him off, with a look that said very clearly it was him who called the shots around here. "I recommend half-time duties, though. And no physically exhausting work. The Commander needs a lot of rest."

"Half-time duties it is, then," Archer confirmed, ignoring Trip's scowl. "Anything else, doc?"

"I will put together a list with nutrients that are necessary to ensure the well-being of both parent and child." Phlox looked at Trip. "I'll be giving you regular injections in order to prevent the development of an iron deficiency. There are a number of exercises you should do at least twice a week, at best every other day, to compensate the increasing strain on your dorsal muscles, and of course I need you to come and see me at least once a day. Should there be any complications I want you to inform me immediately, and not wait until it gets worse, understood, Commander?"

The prospect of spending at least half an hour in sickbay every day made Trip feel positively glum, but he didn't argue. When Phlox started to use his title more frequently than usual, Trip knew it was better to agree with anything the doctor said. After all, Phlox could get very nasty when irritated.

Archer leaned against on of the biobeds and Trip could see there was still something on his mind, but that he was hesitant to bring it up. He sighed; he had a pretty good guess what it was that the Captain wanted to discuss with him. And that he wasn't going to like it one bit.

"Trip," Jon began, rather reluctantly, as it seemed. "You know... we won't be able to keep your condition a secret forever. It'll start to... to show, and there'd be no end to speculations if we don't inform the crew about what happened. And I think it's better to tell them the truth than have them make up one of their own."

Trip closed his eyes for a moment. He'd been dreading the moment when Archer would make this very suggestion. Being head of a starship department, no one had to tell him that people talked, and talked a lot, especially when there wasn't anything to keep their minds occupied but their dull every-day work. And there was no way he would be able to hide his condition for a longer period of time. That thing – the fetus – was growing at a rapid speed, and he suspected it would have doubled in size only a week from now.

Still, the idea of "informing the crew" was nothing short of horrible. He knew the crew consisted of good people who wouldn't deliberately make anyone suffer just for the fun of it, but still, they were not exactly saints. Space travel could get very boring, and any kind of distraction was welcomed with open arms by a crew who didn't have a lot of leisure amenities at their disposal. And a pregnant Chief Engineer, Trip had no illusions about that, was going to be one hell of a distraction.

"Trip?"

He noticed that Archer was still watching him, waiting for an answer. Trip sighed.

"Well, and how do you plan to tell 'em? Make a shipwide announcement?"

Archer shook his head. "I'm going to ask the senior staff to inform their respective departments as discreetly as possible about what happened. Trip, no one's going to give you a hard time, we'll see to that. I'm sure the crew'll be just as worried as the rest of us when they hear about it."

Archer's words weren't much of a consolation to Trip. He hated having people worrying about him, and detested even more being on the receiving end of furtive glances and whispered comments as was certainly going to happen. But it was no use. Illogical to complain about the inevitable, as T'Pol would have said.

He nodded resignedly. "Well, guess I don't have much of a choice."

Archer gave him a compassionate pat on the shoulder. "Well, I'd better get going, then."

An even more illogical part of Trip wanted to ask if they could wait at least another day, but he stopped himself before the question was out of his mouth. There was no way around this, and the earlier he had to deal with it, the earlier he could start getting used to the stares and comments.

When the sickbay doors had closed behind Archer, Trip turned to Phlox. "You done, doc? I promised Malcolm to take a look at his targetin' scanners today, an' I guess he'd like to get it done as soon as possible."

Phlox nodded, but held up a hand when Trip started to slide off the biobed. "Remember, Commander - half-time duties. I'll ask the Captain to drop by Engineering this afternoon, and if I hear you've still been working there's going to be, as you'd put it, "hell to pay"."

Trip threw the doctor an uneasy glance, deciding not to inquire about how exactly Phlox interpreted this particular human expression. He was just on his way to the sickbay doors when he heard Phlox' voice.

"Commander."

Trip turned, hoping the doctor hadn't remembered some test or scan he'd forgotten during his earlier examination. Phlox, however, only looked at him with a strange expression on his face, almost like... concern?

"I just want you to know, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here." He smiled slightly. "At any time of the day. Or night. Feel free to come here anytime if you need something."

Trip didn't really know what to say. He was touched by the gesture, but still, this wasn't the way he and Phlox usually interacted. Mostly he annoyed the doctor by complaining about one thing or another, and the Denobulan told him off for being unreasonable.

Realizing that some kind of reaction was in order, Trip smiled a little awkwardly. "Thanks, doc. I'll keep it in mind."

Phlox answered his smile, and Trip turned to the door, finding that despite everything he felt a lot better than before. Attitude, he told himself while walking down the corridor towards the turbolift. That was what it was all about, in the end. And considering what lay ahead, he was certainly going to need it.

Continue to Chapter 6

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