What Does Not Kill Us- Chapter 11

What Does Not Kill Us

by Thalia Drogna

Rating: R
Genre: Action/Adventury, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters, I’m just borrowing them

~~~

Chapter 11

When Lieutenant Reed arrived at Trip’s quarters he knew that he didn’t want to go in. His chest had suddenly become a block of ice. He was under no illusions, this was going to be by far the most difficult part of the operation. He pressed the button to open the door and saw Phlox sitting at Trip’s terminal going over the schematics of the nanoprobes. Trip was lying on his bunk wrapped tightly in a blanket, eyes shut. Phlox motioned for Reed to go out of the room and followed him.

“Is the Commander asleep?” asked Reed quietly.

“No, just very scared I think,” said Phlox. “He surmised correctly that we are hiding from a Xindi ship. So far he is doing quite well controlling his fear.”

“I need to talk with him, do you think he’s up to it?” asked Reed. After the previous outburst from Trip which had culminated in him being sedated he didn’t want to take any chances.

“He seems to have calmed down and we have talked about how he feels. I think he may be beginning to rationalise his fears,” said Phlox, “but I would like to be present, especially if you want to discuss the Xindi, which I assume is why you are here.”

“Yes, Doctor, I’m afraid so,” said Reed.

“Very well, but if I ask you to leave then you must do so,” said Phlox. “His mental state is still very fragile.”

“I understand, Doctor,” said Reed, and he explained his plan for a weapon to Phlox. He and Archer had both agreed that they would not go ahead without Trip’s permission, it would have made them just as bad as the Xindi if they had gone against Trip’s wishes. Reed also knew that Phlox would never let them do anything which Trip had expressly forbidden. The two of them re-entered the Commander’s quarters and Reed pulled up a chair so that he could sit beside Trip. Phlox took note of the bio readings from the various monitors that kept watch over Trip, but remained a discreet distance away.

“Trip,” said Reed gently. Trip opened his eyes and looked up at the Armoury officer.

“What do you want, Malcolm?” asked Trip in a tired voice.

“Trip, we’re currently in the atmosphere of a gas giant,” said Malcolm.

“Yeah, I heard the tactical alert. I know we’re being followed by a Xindi ship. If we’re in the atmosphere of a gas giant I guess that means we have about twelve hours to come up with something before our hull is crushed like a tin can.”

“How did you work that out? It took T’Pol twenty minutes to do the calculations,” said Reed and he knew T’Pol had used the computer for some of the difficult bits.

“I’m the Chief Engineer, it’s my business to know this stuff,” said Trip. Reed just looked at him for a moment.

“What did you just say?” asked Reed.

“I said that I’m the Chief Engineer and it’s my business to…” Trip tailed off. He stared at Reed for a moment, realising what he’d just said. Then pulled himself into a sitting position and Reed rearranged the pillows behind him. “You know, I was lying here thinking about that Xindi ship out there, and I just automatically started to work out how long we had before the pressure became too much for Enterprise. I guess I was so worried about the Xindi ship that the fact I was thinking about Enterprise’s schematics didn’t even make a dent.”

“You have no idea how good it is to hear you talking about Enterprise again,” said Reed, smiling at his friend.

“Hey, it’s only pressure calculation,” said Trip, but he’d done it without thinking, without agonising about the memories that it might bring up. And he felt happy about it.

“I know, but it’s the first time you’ve even mentioned anything technical since we rescued you. Which is going to make what I have to ask you even harder,” said Reed, the smile suddenly wiped from his face.

“Well I kinda figured that this wasn’t a social call when you opened with how we’re stuck in this gas giant. What’s up?” asked Trip.

“I think that we can disable the Xindi ship by using their own weapon against them. I’m sure that I can modify one of our torpedoes to carry a payload of nanoprobes to the Xindi ship. It should disable their ship pretty effectively.” He paused a moment, knowing he didn’t want to say it but it had to be said. “Trip, I need to extract some of your nanoprobes,” said Reed.

“You want to extract some of the nanoprobes to turn into a weapon to use against the Xindi?” asked Trip in slight disbelief. “Turn the nanoprobes against them?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I want to do,” said Reed.

“Commander, the only way to extract the nanoprobes is to take some of your blood,” said Phlox.

Trip visibly paled at what Phlox had just said. “And this is the only way we can disable the Xindi ship?” asked Trip, looking from Reed to Phlox in turn.

“I believe so,” said Reed.

“And this………. this is going to involve taking my blood ………..with a needle,” said Trip, haltingly. Reed was already feeling guilty about asking Trip to do this and watching the man struggling with his emotions was almost too much for him to retain his resolve.

“Yes, Commander,” said Phlox.

“Trip, I won’t do this if you don’t want to but I think this is our best chance against the Xindi ship that’s sitting out there,” said Reed.

Trip could feel his breath coming more quickly and blood pulsing through his veins faster, but he was trying desperately to stay calm. He ran a shaking, sweaty hand through his hair. “Okay,” he whispered. He took a deep breath and said it more definitely, “okay, let’s do it.”

“I can sedate you while we actually take the blood,” said Phlox.

“No, I want to be awake for this,” said Trip. “Maybe if I can face this then I’ll be able to face the rest.”

“Trip, are you sure?” said Reed. “The fact you’ve given your permission for us to take the blood is enough. You don’t need to face all your demons at once.”

“No, I’ll settle for one at a time,” said Trip, “but every time I get scared, it’s as if I’m letting the Xindi win. I didn’t spend two months giving them the silent treatment to let them win now.” said Trip, all his anger finally bubbling to the surface.

“You’re a lot braver than I would be in your situation, Mr Tucker,” said Reed.

“Nah,” said Trip “I’m scared stiff, I’m just not going to let the bastards get away with what they did.”

“I can understand why you want to remain awake, Commander, but perhaps T’Pol might help us during the procedure,” said Phlox. Reed nodded in agreement, he still felt as if he was using Trip in the same way that the Xindi had used him and anything which might help his friend get through this more easily was a good idea as far as he was concerned. At least Trip didn’t seem to be seeing it in the same way.

“If you think it’ll help,” said Trip. Phlox went to the intercom and called T’Pol.

Phlox set up the necessary apparatus while they waited for T’Pol to arrive, this included a bio-hazard container for the blood once it had been drawn. They couldn’t risk the nanoprobes infecting the ship. He was careful to put the needle they would be using out of Trip’s sight until it needed to be used. There was certainly no need to frighten Trip unnecessarily, this experience was going to be traumatic enough for him.

T’Pol arrived a few moments later and Reed explained the situation to her. She listened intently to what the Lieutenant intended to do and then took up a position sitting on the edge of the bed. Reed moved his seat so that he was at the end of the bed and Trip could see him too.

“I am ready to begin,” said Phlox.

“Very well, Doctor,” said T’Pol. “Commander, I want you to concentrate on your breathing and look at me. If you want to stop at any point then we will do so, but I believe that you are capable of doing this. Remember we are on Enterprise and we are your friends. You are completely safe and we will not allow any harm to come to you.”

Trip nodded at T’Pol. “Okay, Doc, let’s get it over with.” He presented his left arm to the doctor. Trip flinched as the doctor cleaned the area the needle would be inserted into, but kept his arm in place through sheer force of will.

“I am going to put the needle in now,” said Phlox. Trip’s eyes were locked with T’Pol’s but he nodded. Phlox put the needle into the vein, he’d had to hold Trip’s now shaking arm steady in order to hit the vein but it was in. He quickly taped it in place and checked the flow.

“You’re doing fine, Trip,” said Reed from the end of the bed. Trip didn’t say anything, he didn’t trust his voice. He closed his eyes and turned his away to the right, away from the arm with the needle in it. He was shaking far worse now.

In his head he was lying on a cold metal table in the Xindi ship and he had a needle in his arm. They were draining his life away. He was feeling dizzy. He had tried to pull away when they inserted the needle but they’d held him down until he was too weak to move.

“Commander,” said T’Pol. “Look at me.”

There was something about her tone, which didn’t give him room to disobey. He turned back to her and looked deep into the brown eyes. As he looked at her he knew that he was back on Enterprise and T’Pol wouldn’t let anything happen to him. “I want you to breathe with me. Take a deep breath in and now breathe out. Very good. Again.” The first breath was a shuddering half intake, the second was stronger and each breath after became more relaxed.

Twenty minutes later, they had enough of Trip’s blood for Lieutenant Reed to build his torpedo. Phlox removed the needle from Trip’s arm, placed a piece of gauze over where the needle had been and told T’Pol to hold it on the place until the bleeding stopped. Trip relaxed back against his pillows and breathed a sigh of relief, he was tired but he felt a sense of accomplishment. Phlox put the blood on ice in the bio-hazard container, ready for Reed to take to the Armoury to be placed in the modified torpedo.

Reed moved his chair back to the head of the bed again. “Well done, Trip,” he said enthusiastically, taking Trip’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze. Trip didn’t shrink back into the pillows at the touch as he had done previously but gave Reed a satisfied but tired smile.

“T’Pol, could you get me some paper and pencils?” asked Trip.

T’Pol raised an eyebrow, “I will do my best, such items may be hard to obtain.”

“I know, but I need something to write on. I think I may have an idea about my nano friends,” said Trip. “If you could get me the schematics for the nanoprobes on a piece of paper as well then that would be great.”

“Next you’ll be asking for your slide rule,” joked Reed.

“Not a bad idea, Malcolm,” said Trip. “If you look in the bottom draw of my desk, you’ll find my slide rule.”

“Are you serious?” asked Reed. “I didn’t think that you actually owned a slide rule.”

“Sure, it was a present from my grand daddy when I was accepted to the academy to do engineering. I guess he thought it was a joke present, but I’ve always hung onto it. Had it valued a few years ago, turns out its an antique and worth quite a bit of money, never thought I’d need to use it. Glad I taught myself how now.”

“Maybe I should invest in a sextant after all,” muttered Reed. After a little rummaging around in Trip’s desk, Reed pulled out the slide rule. He was completely baffled by it and had no idea where to even begin with using it, he guessed that Trip had seen it as a point of honour to learn how though. “What have you got in mind?” asked Reed.

“I’m not sure yet, I need to look at the schematics, but they’re machines, right?” said Trip looking at T’Pol, who nodded. “Well if there’s one thing all this has made me realise, I know a hell of a lot about what makes machines tick.”

“That you do, Commander,” said Reed, smiling. He was trying to push the thought that the knowledge which Trip carried in his head had nearly got the engineer killed. “Speaking of machines, I’d better get these von Neumann machines where they can be put to some good use. I’ll check back with you later, Trip.”

“Okay, Malcolm. Be careful with those things,” said Trip.

“Don’t worry, I will be,” said the Lieutenant, and with that he picked up the bio-hazard container and left for the armoury.

“I also must go,” said T’Pol, “but I will obtain the items that you have asked for.”

“Thanks T’Pol,” said Trip, and he took pleasure in watching her as she rose from the bed and made for the door.

“Well, Commander, the usual procedure after having given blood is to ensure that you keep your blood sugar levels up. Perhaps I can tempt you with some pecan pie and a glass of milk?” said Phlox, pleasantly.

“Doc, that’s one prescription that I’ll be happy to take,” replied Trip, smiling. Maybe things weren’t so bad after all.

****

Archer found Reed in the armoury working hard on his new creation.

“How did it go?” asked Archer.

“Better than I expected,” said Reed and told the Captain about how Trip had been awake and calm through out the whole process. Archer could see that Reed had been impressed and Malcolm Reed was not a man who was easy to impress.

“I guess that’s Trip for you, never one to give up when there’s a problem to be solved,” said Archer. He was also very proud of Trip for even agreeing to go through an experience which must have reminded him of his torture at the hands of the Xindi.

“I still feel like we used him,” said Reed, obviously wrestling with demons.

“If we’d taken them without his permission then we’d be using him, as badly as the Xindi, but we didn’t do that. We treated him with respect. And I bet Trip didn’t see it like that,” said Archer.

“I got the impression that he quite liked the idea of putting two fingers up at the Xindi,” replied Reed.

“That sounds more like the old Trip we know and love,” smiled Archer.

“He also seems to be taking the old adage ‘physician heal thyself’ literally,” said Reed. “He’s asked T’Pol for some paper print outs of the schematics of the nanoprobes and he’s decided to see if he can work out how they tick.”

“I was hoping his curiosity would get the better of him soon. Before all this, he usually couldn’t resist playing with mechanical stuff, but I was afraid that anything technical would remind him of the Xindi too much. And with the nanoprobe problem I knew getting him back to Engineering was going to be out. I guess I underestimated his resourcefulness when it comes to finding machines to play with,” said Archer.

“I think he’s finally coming round,” said Reed.

“Let’s hope so, I don’t know how much longer I can take him being this distant,” said Archer. And it hit Reed just how much Archer had been missing his friend. Reed had felt it too. They had Trip back but he wasn’t the same person, he wasn’t their Trip, yet anyway. It had been a hard fight to even get him as far as they had. “Anyway, tell me about this torpedo,” said Archer pulling himself away from his thoughts of Trip.

“Yes, sir,” said Reed, switching himself back into Armoury officer mode. “I’m building four of them to be on the safe side. They’re normal torpedos but I have modified them to weaken the structure so that instead of exploding it will break up on impact and the nanoprobes will be delivered safely. We will need to be precise in our targeting, though. We have to hit the exhaust port of the Xindi ship if the nanoprobes are going to be effective. I think the targeting scanners are up to it with a couple of small refinements.”

“I’m sure that with you at the controls they will be,” said Archer.

“This is one of those situations where I would have been much happier if Commander Tucker had been able to give them the once over first,” said Reed, “but I’ll just have to do my own checks.”

“The clock is ticking, Lieutenant,” said Archer.

“Yes, sir, I’ll have them ready in time,” said Reed. “How’s the Sub-commander doing with the sensors?”

“It’s slow going, but she thinks we might be able to get limited penetration through the atmosphere in time for our confrontation. Whether it will be enough to pinpoint our Xindi friends, is anyone’s guess. T’Pol wouldn’t even give me an estimate until she’s got further with her adjustments. She didn’t say it but I could tell that she was thinking that our plan isn’t going to work.”

“It’s a long shot, sir,” said Reed, “but I don’t think we have many options here.”

“It is a long shot, but if being captain of Enterprise has taught me anything it’s that I have a damn fine crew. If anyone can do this then it’s this crew,” said Archer.

Continue to Chapter 12

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