What Does Not Kill Us- Chapter 16

What Does Not Kill Us

by Thalia Drogna

Rating: R
Genre: Action/Adventury, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters, I’m just borrowing them

~~~

Chapter 16

“You’re telling me that Commander Tucker is communicating with the nanoprobes?” asked Archer in complete disbelief. “How is that even possible?” He was standing in his ready room listening to T’Pol and Phlox’s report on the nanoprobe situation.

“It is not outside scientific possibilities, Captain,” said T’Pol. “Although it is…unusual.”

“Obviously, but why is it suddenly happening now? I mean he didn’t hear them talking to him when we first brought him back from the Xindi ship,” said Archer.

“Commander Tucker believes that the frequency which caused him to have a cardiac incident may have been responsible for the change in the nanoprobes,” said T’Pol.

“Indeed,” added Phlox, “I believe that the frequency may also have caused the nanoprobes to stimulate the Commander’s brain so that he could receive the nanoprobes’ signal and communicate with them. Hence why they began to emit electrical charges, but I suspect that the probes are not configured for the human body and therefore caused some unwanted side effects through their actions.”

“I wouldn’t exactly call them side effects, they nearly killed Trip. What exactly do these nanoprobes say to him anyway?” asked Archer.

“As far as I have been able to establish the nanoprobes have helped him with solving some of the equations that he has been working on with regard to the schematics. Most of their communication seems to be related to updates on their own status,” replied T’Pol, calm as ever. “However, he has been able to interrogate some of their programming, he is convinced that they were not originally built as weapons and that was simply a side application to their main function.”

“And what exactly is their main function?” asked Archer.

“He is having difficulty ascertaining that information,” said T’Pol.

“I don’t like this one bit. These are Xindi weapons that are swimming around in his blood stream and now they’re helping him with his math? I just don’t buy it, why would the Xindi inject him with these nanoprobes if it wasn’t to destroy us?” said Archer.

“Perhaps Commander Tucker’s efforts to reprogram the nanoprobes worked and the original intent of the Xindi has been subverted,” said T’Pol.

“I hope you’re right, T’Pol, because otherwise we have a problem. If these nanoprobes can talk to him, how do we know that they can’t influence him in other ways?” said Archer.

“We do not know,” said T’Pol. “I believe that we should consider Commander Tucker to be a potential threat to Enterprise.”

Archer looked at T’Pol wondering if she really did consider Trip to be a threat. T’Pol was always logical and he couldn’t fault her logic here, they had to treat Trip as if he was the enemy, they had no choice. “I want a guard placed outside Trip’s quarters,” said Archer, the words almost catching in his throat as he said them, “and if he has to leave his quarters, I want someone with him at all times.”

“Are you sure that is wise, Captain? His mental state is still fragile and such measures could remind him of his captivity,” said Phlox. “He has come a long way over the past few days and it would be detrimental in the extreme if his recovery were to be halted now.”

“I’m sorry, Doctor, I don’t want to do this but I don’t have a choice. I have the safety of everyone on board Enterprise to consider,” said Archer. There were so many unanswered questions. “The Xindi fooled us once with these nanoprobes and I don’t intend to let them fool us again.”

****

When Archer went to break the bad news to Trip, he was surprised to see Lieutenant Reed on guard outside Trip’s quarters. Reed stood at attention, phase pistol in its holster at his side.

“Lieutenant, I didn’t think my chief Armoury officer was in the habit of pulling guard duty,” said Archer.

“I’m not usually, sir,” replied Reed, “but given who we’re guarding, I decided to take the first shift myself. One of my staff will be here to relieve me later. I will be returning to my post on the bridge after that, sir.”

“If that means you’ll be pulling a double shift, then, no you won’t, Malcolm,” said Archer.

“But, sir…” started Reed, making it obvious that was exactly what he had intended on doing. Archer knew his Armoury officer well, Reed had indulged himself by taking duty guarding Trip and therefore had decided to make up for it by doing a double shift. However, there was nothing in the rules which forbade the chief Armoury officer from pulling guard duty if he wanted to and Archer certainly wasn’t about to punish him for displaying his loyalty to Trip. He knew Reed had formed a friendship with Trip and he also knew just how much it had cost the Lieutenant to open up to someone. That friendship had got both men through some difficult times and he hoped it would continue to do so.

“If you want to pull guard duty it isn’t a problem,” said Archer, trying to let his Armoury officer know it was okay for him to be concerned about Trip. “I know why you’re doing it and Trip needs all the friends he can get at the moment.”

“It’s bad enough that we have to treat him like a prisoner without his guards being people he barely knows,” said Reed.

“I know Malcom, I don’t like it either. Just make sure that you visit him later, okay?” said Archer.

Reed just nodded and then said “yes, sir.”

Archer pressed the door bell, heard Trip shout “come in” and went inside. Trip was sitting at his desk, papers strewn around him, obviously hard at work. His broken arm was now resting in a sling around his neck, reminding Archer uncomfortably that the man they were so afraid of was still recovering from his injuries. Archer could immediately tell that he was angry though and his suspicion was confirmed by the first words out of Trip’s mouth.

“What the hell is going on, Captain?” he asked crossly. “Why is Malcolm standing out there doing his best tin soldier impersonation?”

“They were my orders, Trip,” said Archer.

“You ordered Malcolm to stand guard duty outside my quarters?” asked Trip facetiously.

“Well actually that was Malcolm’s idea. I just told him to post a guard,” said Archer. “I’m sorry Trip but we just don’t know enough about these nanoprobes. I don’t want you leaving here without someone with you.”

“Captain, the nanoprobes just aren’t capable of doing what you’re worried about,” said Trip. “They weren’t designed to be a weapon, that’s just what the Xindi turned them into.”

“Trip, how do you know what they’re capable of? If you can hear them talking to you, what’s to say that they might not start telling you to do things?” said Archer. “I’m sorry, but until we know more, you can’t leave your quarters without a guard.”

“Why the hell did you bother, Jon?” said Trip, throwing the pencil that he’d been holding down on the desk. “I mean, if all you were going to do was lock me up, why didn’t you just let them kill me?”

“Trip, it isn’t like that,” said Archer.

“Then why don’t you tell me what it is like, ‘cause that’s what it sure feels like to me!” shouted Trip, his accent becoming more pronounced with stress. “Why did you rescue me? Was it because you were afraid I was going to talk? Well I didn’t. I didn’t say a word and you want to know why? ‘Cause I thought that I was protectin’ my friends and Enterprise. I guess I was wrong on one of those counts. I couldn’t protect myself from what they did to me, so I did the next best thing and it took everything I had, Jon. They took everything!” Trip fell silent, his eyes shining with tears that he was determined not to cry. He was breathing hard and gulping down air. Memories were flooding him and he was struggling for control. “Or maybe you just wanted me back to fix your damned engines. Well we both know that ain’t happening any time soon. So now you shut me in here and expect me just to sit here and take it? At least the Xindi didn’t pretend to be my friend.”

Archer reached out a hand to put on his friend’s shoulder but Trip shrugged it off angrily. It wasn’t the flinch which Archer knew from before when he had tried to comfort Trip, it was a reaction born of anger not fear. “I think you’d better leave,” said Trip, standing unsteadily on his one good foot so that he was on the same level as Archer. He kept a hand on the desk to balance himself.

“Trip,” began Archer. “I am your friend, but I’m also the Captain of Enterprise.” He knew it was the wrong thing to say but he really wasn’t sure what the right thing to say would have been.

“Jon, I’ve still got one good arm, and if you don’t want me to do something I might regret then you’d better go,” said Trip more forcefully. “As Phlox keeps telling everyone, my mental state is kind of fragile at the moment,” he added sarcastically.

Archer knew who’d come off worse if Trip threw a punch at him at the moment, and he certainly had no wish to make matters worse by hurting his friend. Trip looked as if he could hardly stand let alone pick a fight. Archer looked at Trip’s blue eyes and saw only hurt and betrayal. Nothing was going to be gained from continuing this conversation with Trip as worked up as he was, it wasn’t doing either of them any good.

“Okay, if that’s what you want,” said Archer and he turned and left.

As the door shut Trip felt all the anger driven energy flow out of him, why did this hurt so much? He was back on Enterprise and everything still hurt, not physical pain like the torture he had endured but it was still pain. He made it to his bed with difficulty, and lay back on the mattress, his eyes closed as he fought with the memories that he’d dredged up from where he thought he’d securely locked them away.

Out in the corridor Reed was still standing guard, he’d heard raised voices and been concerned. Archer looked angry and upset as he exited.

“I take it that didn’t go well?” asked Reed.

“You take it right, Malcolm,” said Archer.

“He’s just upset at the moment, he doesn’t know what he’s saying,” said Reed.

“No, I think he knows all too well what he’s saying. He accused me of rescuing him just because he might have talked. He wanted to know if we got him back just because I needed him to fix the engines. And that is what I put in my logs,” said Archer. “That was part of the reason.”

“It wasn’t the only reason,” said Reed. “Just give him some time, he’ll understand.”

Archer sighed. He was fed up with being the strong one, ever since they had entered the Expanse he had carried so much for everyone. When you’re Captain you have to be strong, there was no one for him to lean on. Trip had just lost his sister, his pain at her lost had almost been visible, a raw scar across his soul. He remembered the morose drinking session that they’d shared the night they left space dock, he’d told Trip that they’d do what they had to. He would never have believed that would involve losing the friendship of one of his oldest and best friends. He sincerely hoped that Reed was right and all Trip needed was time to understand.

When they’d recovered Trip from the Xindi ship, he’d been so ill, and for a couple of days Phlox had feared for Trip’s life. But he’d pulled through. Archer had comforted himself with the fact that his friend was alive and getting better, but now he wasn’t sure that Trip would ever truly be better. His experience with the Xindi had scared him more deeply than Archer had realised. The Trip he had known would never have reacted to his current situation like the man he’d just talked to, this was the person who had emerged from Trip’s nightmares; scared, paranoid and hurt.

Archer said goodbye to Reed and wandered down the corridor towards the bridge. Reed watched him go and hoped that Trip saw sense soon, it was killing Archer to see Trip like this.

Continue to Chapter 17

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