What Does Not Kill Us - Chapter 5

What Does Not Kill Us

by Thalia Drogna

Rating: R
Genre: Action/Adventury, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters, I’m just borrowing them

~~~

Chapter 5

Phlox took Trip off sedation five days after he had been brought back from the Xindi ship. He made sure that he gave the Commander a high dose of pain killers before he even considered allowing him to return to consciousness. He had also called Captain Archer, T’Pol and Lieutenant Reed before he took the Commander off the sedatives. He wanted there to be friendly faces available when his patient awoke for the first time. His wounds had been dressed and the bones had been set, but Phlox was still unsure of the Commander’s state of mind.

To the three waiting officers it seemed as if Trip took a long time to come around. To Trip it was like struggling through treacle, he tried to swim upwards to the surface but his head felt so groggy, as if he was stuffed full of cotton wool.

“Come on Trip, you can do it,” he heard a familiar voice say. One of the Xindi he thought, but they never called him Trip. It sounded more like Malcolm Reed, but he knew it couldn’t be.

“I’m not telling you anything,” he mumbled. He kept his eyes shut not wanting to be reminded of where he was. “Please just stop.”

Archer glanced at Phlox worriedly. “Its only to be expected that he’ll be a little confused,” said Phlox. “He’s been through a lot.”

“Trip, you’re on Enterprise. You’re safe in sick bay,” said Archer.

Trip finally peeled his eyes open. The clear blue eyes looked up at the faces surrounding him. “Enterprise?” he whispered in disbelief. He looked down at his body and noticed the drip that was in his arm. “No!” he shouted or at least it was meant to be a shout, it actually came out as a hoarse cry. He started to try to pull out the drip, he wanted them to stop pumping him full of drugs. He didn’t hear Phlox trying to calm him or Archer trying to explain. He struggled as well meaning hands held him down, but he was too weak and they held him easily. “No!” he shouted again, “leave me alone!” He felt the cold of a hypospray against his neck and blackness enclosed him again.

Archer and Reed looked stunned. Neither of them had expected quite that reaction. T’Pol was her usual composed self but even she looked slightly unnerved. Phlox was breathing hard after his rapid trip across sick bay to find the appropriate sedative. In his weakened state the Commander was no match for the Captain and Lieutenant Reed but he could still have hurt himself if he had continued to struggle.

“I’m afraid that his experience has left him very confused,” said Phlox.

“One of the teams found a lab in the ship,” said Reed bitterly. “It’s likely that’s where they took Trip to torture him. I would guess needles and drugs were involved.”

Archer nodded. “Its going to be hard to persuade him that he’s safe after what he’s been through.”

“I will put on the restraints and we can try again in an hour or so when the sedative wears off,” said Phlox.

An hour later Trip swam back up to consciousness. He felt the restraints and struggled. “Please, just leave me alone” he said, distantly. “I don’t know anything!”

“Trip,” said Archer. “Trip it’s me.” He placed a hand on his friend’s cheek and gently pulled his face so that he was looking directly into Trip’s eyes. “Come on Trip, stay with me.”

Trip blinked. “Jon?” he asked. His voice was little more than a whisper.

“Yes, it’s me, you’re on Enterprise, you’re safe,” said Archer.

“It’s not true,” said Trip, not daring to believe that it could all be over. Any moment he expected the pain to return. “It’s a trick.” He noticed again the drip going into his arm. “What are you doing to me?” he asked in an increasingly agitated voice. “Leave me alone!” He struggled against the restraints again, everything hurt and he was too weak to keep up the struggling for long.

“Commander,” said Phlox, “the drip is just to provide you with pain relief and re-hydrate you. Both of which you are very much in need of at the moment.”

“Trip, you’re going to be okay,” said Reed.

“Malcolm? Is that really you?” Trip asked.

“When I last looked, it was me,” replied Reed smiling.

“It is good to have you back, Commander,” said T’Pol from the end of the bed.

“T’Pol, you’re a sight for sore eyes,” said Trip, finally realising that it wasn’t just a dream. He tried to smile but found that his facial muscles didn’t really want to comply. He did his best, managing a pale imitation of his usual smile. Then suddenly the fear returned to eyes. “I don’t want to be here, get me out of here.”

“Trip you have to stay in Sick Bay for a little while. You’re not well,” said Archer.

“No, I don’t. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want any needles anywhere near me. Jon, you’ve got to get me out of here, I can’t do this. Please!” There were tears forming in his eyes and he continued to struggle against the restraints, but he was just making himself tired.

“Commander, you’ll only wear yourself out. You need to conserve your strength,” said Phlox and went to fill another hypospray.

“Please, don’t make me stay here,” he pleaded. “No more needles. I don’t know anything.”

“Trip, if you promise me that you’ll calm down and try to get some sleep I’ll talk to the doctor about moving you somewhere else. Okay?” said Archer. He placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Just hang in there a bit longer.”

Trip nodded and closed his eyes. Phlox returned to find Trip drifting off to sleep. “Ah, I see I won’t be needing this,” he said indication the hypospray.

“We need to talk, doctor,” said Archer. They moved away from Trip’s bed. “Is there any way that we could move Trip back to his quarters? Preferably before he wakes up again.”

“Captain, I need all the facilities of sick bay at my disposal. Commander Tucker’s condition is very serious,” said Phlox.

“Doctor, you saw how he reacted to being in sick bay,” interjected Reed. “He was afraid.”

“I have to believe that any benefits gained from being in Sick Bay are out-weighed by Trip’s own wishes to be somewhere else. He needs to be somewhere familiar and safe. And if possible we have to get rid of the drip, that was what really upset him,” said Archer.

“It is almost certainly Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, not uncommon in people who have been through a particularly harrowing experience, like Mr Tucker has. Very well, I will set up as much equipment as I can in Commander Tucker’s quarters and arrange to have him moved there as soon as possible,” said Phlox. “If Commander Tucker can’t come to Sick Bay then we will bring the Sick Bay to him.”

****

It took a few hours for Lieutenant Hess’s engineering team to set up Trip’s quarters with a makeshift biobed and the monitors that the doctor required, but eventually everything was ready. Phlox sedated the Commander again for the short journey down to his quarters, even that short movement would still be too much for him in his current state.

When Trip woke again he was in his own quarters. He still felt fuzzy and he could remember waking to find himself in Sick Bay, that had been too close to his memories of the Xindi lab, and fear washed over him again. He tensed his body and tried desperately to look around him, but he was so weak he could hardly raise his head. Archer had stayed with Trip through the move and he now saw that Trip was awake again.

“Hi there,” said Archer. “You’ve had us all worried.”

“Jon?” said Trip, he still couldn’t really believe he was back on Enterprise. He kept expecting to see the Xindi. “Where am I?” he asked, he needed to hear it again.

“You’re on Enterprise,” said Archer. “You’re safe Trip. You’re in your own quarters. I had to fight with Phlox, but you don’t have to go back to Sick Bay and no more needles.” The last statement wasn’t exactly true, they’d just moved the needle so that it now went into a vein in Trip’s leg and they had hidden the drip so that it was behind his head. Phlox had Trip on some pretty strong painkillers so he wasn’t going to be feeling anything much for a while. In any case, Trip seemed to relax when he heard that he was no longer in Sick Bay.

“How’d you find me?” he asked, his voice rasped in his throat and it hurt him a little to talk.

“T’Pol followed the ship’s ion trail until it gave out at the space port and then we got a tip off from our friends the Jorgans. They said a Xindi crewed ship had docked at the spaceport and were headed for an outpost on a planet not far from here, we picked up their ion trail again and managed to catch up with them again.” said Archer. “I’m sorry it took so long, Trip. I would have given anything to have found you sooner.”

Trip nodded. “Warp five,” said Trip weakly.

“What about it?” asked Archer.

“It’s what they wanted to know,” said Trip. “I didn’t tell them anything, Captain,” he added anxiously.

“I know you didn’t,” said Archer, putting a hand on Trip’s shoulder to calm him. Trip flinched at the touch and tried to push himself back further against the pillows, so Archer removed his hand.

“But there were drugs and I can’t remember some of it. I guess I might have told them something then,” said Trip, with tears welling in his eyes.

“It doesn’t matter, Trip. I’m just glad to have you back,” said Archer. He could feel tears in his own eyes and the last thing he wanted was for Trip to see him crying. Phlox came into Trip’s quarters at that moment. Lieutenant Hess had rigged up the bio-sensors so that they had readouts in Sick Bay as well as in the Commander’s quarters.

“Ah Commander, you’re awake,” said Phlox. “How do you feel?” He observed the tear stained eyes but decided not to say anything as Trip seemed to be relatively calm.

“I can’t feel much of anything, Doc,” said Trip. “Everything seems sort of far away.”

“I’ve given you some strong painkillers so they should stop the worst of the pain. Let me know if you feel any discomfort and I will adjust the levels of pain relief,” said Phlox. “I have arranged for someone to be with you at all times.”

“I’m thirsty,” said Trip.

“You may give him a little water, Captain, but just a few sips. We need to build up gradually.”

Archer took the glass of water with straw that Phlox passed to him and let Trip take a few sips, before setting it down. After that was done Trip closed his eyes and was soon asleep again.

“It’ll be a while before he stays awake for more than an hour or so,” said Phlox. “He’s had very little sleep for the past few months and repairing his injuries will require most of his body’s strength.”

Archer stayed with Trip for a few more hours but he didn’t wake up again. Archer was replaced by Lieutenant Reed in the seat beside the bed. Reed read his armoury reports while Trip slept. He heard Trip coughing and stirring beside him and looked over to see Trip’s face contorted in pain, the cough had jarred his broken ribs. Reed went to the intercom and called Phlox.

He came back to the Commander’s side. “Easy Trip, I’ve called Phlox. He’ll be here in a minute.”

“Malcolm?” said Trip.

“Yes, it’s me,” said Malcolm.

“For a moment I thought I was still on the Xindi ship,” said Trip in a wavering voice.

“You’re safe on Enterprise,” said Malcolm. “You’re not going anywhere.” Trip blinked and looked up at the ceiling.

“How long was I gone?” he asked.

“Two months,” said Reed.

“It felt like a lot longer,” replied Trip, sleepily.

Phlox arrived. He acknowledged Lieutenant Reed and scanned Trip.

“Why am I so tired?” asked Trip.

“You have a lot of injuries to heal, Commander, it’s taking a lot of your strength. It will get better with time. For now you just need to rest,” said Phlox. He loaded a hypo and pressed it to the Commander’s neck. Trip felt the pain recede again and he closed his eyes and slept.

“Thanks, Doctor,” said Malcolm, looking at Trip’s sleeping form.

“He seems to be resting comfortably now,” said Phlox. “Call me if you need me again.”

Phlox had arranged it so that someone would always be with Trip, he had explained that his recovery would be aided greatly by the presence of friendly faces whenever he woke up. Reed, Archer, T’Pol, Hoshi and Travis had drawn up a schedule which meant that one of them would always be with Trip. It meant missing free time and occasionally eating meals at strange hours, but none of them minded. They had been briefed by Archer and Phlox: he doesn’t like to be touched, he’s very scared, don’t expect him to want to say much and call Phlox at the first sign of any trouble.

Over the next week Trip spent his time in a kind of twilight of wakefulness and sleeping. Occasionally the two merged into a continuous dream. When he was awake there was always someone beside him, he couldn’t always tell who it was but they were always there. As the days passed he managed to stay awake for longer and things became clearer as Phlox decreased his pain medication. He felt numb though, as if some momentous event had happened that had changed the way he felt about everything but that event had happened to someone else. Most of the time Trip felt too sore and ill to do anything other than wish the pain would go away. Phlox had warned him there would be good and bad days as far as the levels of pain were concerned but so far he had yet to experience a good day.

However most of the physical discomfort was overridden by fear. He still expected the Xindi to come through the door and drag him off for more torture. He knew it was irrational but that didn’t help, for the past two months his body had been conditioned into thinking that a door opening meant that he was about to be caused pain. He tried to hide it as best he could but nothing he could do seemed to make it go away.

****

T’Pol and Archer sat in the Captain’s dining room. It was the first time that the two of them had eaten dinner together since Trip’s kidnapping. Archer hadn’t been able to bring himself to eat in his dining room when one of the chairs was so obviously empty, but now they had Trip back he’d decided to get things back to normal.

T’Pol was briefing him on the raid on the Xindi ship. Lieutenant Reed had been suspicious of how well it had gone, T’Pol thought there was something to Reed’s opinion and Archer was also inclined to agree with his Armoury Officer. For a start the Xindi hadn’t put up much of a fight, most of Reed’s contingency plans hadn’t been needed, and then they had been far too anxious to take the escape pods and leave the ship.

“One conclusion would be that they were able to extract information from Commander Tucker but had not yet been able to pass it on to their superiors. Hence it was important for them to escape so that they could pass on the information,” said T’Pol.

Archer knew Trip had gone through hell, he hoped it hadn’t all been for nothing. He also knew that Trip was probably already tearing himself apart over whether he’d told them anything and he hated to think that there was any basis to his fears. However, he was first of all Captain of the Enterprise and their mission against the Xindi came above even his friendship with Trip.

“What would be the most damaging thing that Trip could have told them?” asked Archer.

“According to Lieutenant Reed’s report, there are a number of weak points in out hull plating that if revealed would make Enterprise vulnerable. That was his most highly ranked vulnerability although he also rated a number of pieces of information about our phase cannons and photonic torpedoes as serious concerns,” said T’Pol.

Archer sighed. “Did the Lieutenant have a plan for dealing with these vulnerabilities?”

“The weapons can be modified to counter the knowledge that the Xindi may have obtained, the hull plating is a design flaw and not correctable. Commander Tucker had mentioned it to you previously as a concern,” said T’Pol.

“I remember,” said Archer.

“Captain, I know this is a difficult subject, but we have to ask Commander Tucker what they interrogated him about,” said T’Pol.

Archer moved the food around on his plate. He knew she was right, it was the only way to protect Enterprise, but how could he ask Trip to relive what he’d just been through. He took a deep breath. “It’s too early, T’Pol. I know we have to talk to him, but we’ve only just got him back. Just give me a little time.”

They ate in silence for a while.

“Of course there is another possibility,” said T’Pol. “They may have intentionally let us catch them.”

“Why would they do that?” asked Archer, knowing he wasn’t going to like the answer.

“Perhaps they wanted us to take Commander Tucker back on board Enterprise,” said T’Pol.

“You think that they did something to Trip?” said Archer. “Phlox scanned him and didn’t detect anything wrong. He’d been heavily drugged but there wasn’t anything dangerous to anyone else in his system.”

“Perhaps he is not Commander Tucker,” said T’Pol.

“Phlox would have noticed something,” said Archer. “His DNA and brainwaves match previous scans so it’s unlikely.”

“Or he may have been brain washed into sabotaging Enterprise,” said T’Pol. “There are further possibilities that we cannot ignore.”

This was certainly something that Archer hadn’t wanted to think about. “For the moment Trip’s too ill to go anywhere, let alone sabotage anything. When he’s up to moving around we’ll worry about that and anything else that you can come up with.”

“Yes, Captain,” said T’Pol.

“What about the escape pods?” asked Archer.

“They were picked up after we left the system by another ship. We were at the furthest extent of long range scanners at this point and I was unable to get more detail,” said T’Pol. Archer had ordered them to go to warp immediately after destroying the enemy ship just in case any more Xindi ships arrived to answer the first ship’s distress call. It now seemed that this had been a wise decision, despite its original motivations.

“Well we know that some of the Xindi got away. The question is did they get away with anything important?” said Archer.

Continue to Chapter 6

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