Letters- # 3

Letters to Kov

by myst123

House of Tucker Summer 2003 Fan Fiction Contest
Category: Humor
Rating: G
Email: mystbbs@earthlink.net
Disclaimer: Star Trek situations, characters, and name are all owned by Paramount. This work is non-commercial, not for sale or profit, and may not be sold or reproduced for commercial purposes.

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Letter #3, February 25, 2152

I’ve decided desert planets and pleasure planets are not for me. Both are hazardous to my health. Suffice it to say that the Vulcan database understated the dangers visitors to Risa face. Crime there must be out of control, trapping the unwary tourist. I lost my favorite white suit and off-white shoes to a gang of thieves. And just a few days before, I had to endure 41 degree heat and severe dehydration. And, come to think of it, planets with idyllic scenery are just as lethal. That’s it. I’m starting my own database with far more accurate information than previously available.

Risa: A deceptively cordial planet, with a seething underworld of corruption just below the surface. Stay out of cellars. Nothing is as it seems. Beware beautiful women. Don’t drink anything. And don’t wear your favorite outfit. Go armed and stay sober. Take a picture of your clothes for identification purposes, just in case. But leave the camera behind.

Unnamed Rogue Planet: Beware hunting parties and blond women sporting flowers in their hair. Don’t visit if you have unresolved issues from your childhood about poetry or if you have unexpressed desires of any nature. However, if such problems don’t exist for you, take the camera and get those snaps of the geo-thermal steam vents. I’m not sure they really are more reminiscent of the grottos of Deneba Prime than Yellowstone, but whatever.

These aren’t even including the planets when the Vulcans got us in trouble with the Andorians and the Coridans.

Hmm, have all our encounters been so violent and dangerous? Sadly, yes, although the pre-industrial society with a very beautiful apothecary proved to be a straightforward encounter with a gentle race. In that case, the malevolence was provided by members of a parasitic species intent on their own gains and who ignored the cost of their activities to the society inhabiting the planet. Therefore, this planet is worth a second visit, if we can get the Vulcan on board to stop going on and on about contamination of pre-warp cultures. OK, sometimes she knows what she is talking about, but we saved those people by getting involved.

There, no need for the Vulcan database any more.

Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound unkind towards T’Pol in my last letter. She’s OK. I was just mouthing off. I’ll stop!

I do understand that Vulcan sexual practices are private. I was curious, but don’t need to know if you aren’t comfortable telling me. I take it Vulcans don’t write endlessly about their own sexuality the way humans do, so you can’t point me to an informative volume, huh?

And may I say you look every one of your 57 years?

Movies and books about the moon? I’ll ask others for suggestions. I’m glad you enjoyed the songs I suggested. Your day trip to the moon sounded like fun. I enjoyed seeing the infamous golf ball and club as well – the museum is excellent. Is the snack bar food as stale as ever? It’s too bad visitors can’t pick up moon rocks and other artifacts anymore, but I understand the ban – the regulation was put into place before I was born (which was when you were in your twenties, old man!) to preserve the environment and atmosphere. Otherwise the surface would have been stripped bare long ago.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed (an old Earth custom – superstitious but effective) that your dad’s next checkup is better.

Later.

Trip

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Three people have made comments

You have captured him wonderfully.

This is a good series but I really would love it if Trip's letters were punctuated by replies from Kov. And he always manages to get a little dig in about T'Pol,though never in a cruel or spiteful way. Ali D :~)

I love these letters. They're very well written and sound authentically Trip. Nice to know that he has time to write between putting out fires and getting mugged! I trust we're going to get some more?